Archive | November 2006

Who Am I?

Nov18

I had a horrible time falling asleep Thursday night – I was plagued with a tickly cough I just could not throw… so I had some time to think laying there in bed… here is what ran through my mind:

Who am I really? there are so many labels….The basic- Mother/wife/lover(LOL that sounds so naughty)/soulmate(whatever that really is??)/bestfriend… and then you go one step further to extended family – Daughter/step-daughter/sister/stepsister/granddaughter/neice/cousin/god-daughter/god-mother/aunty… in the community I am – Neighbor/friend/at times a customer… I am a woman, caucasion (sp?), Albertan… Canadian… I am of German/Russian decent… I am a human being… I am Lutheran… Christian… There are so many labels… if you strip those all away what do you have???

ME… Lisa Rose… somedays I feel like the labels swallow me up, I am Mommy first most days… then wife (if I am lucky maybe a lover??? LOL)… it is hard to believe that once I was just me… college student… philosopher… where am I going with this… well just when I got somewhere with my train of thought I finally fell asleep!! LOL and then an hour later the baby woke up hungry – figures. Story of my life, I get into that deep thought moment and BANG reality marches right back in.

So I am back to the question who am I? Well I know that I am emotional, loving, sympathetic… I am a lover of books and a certain American ex-soccer player… I am sure in my faith and love to sing. I am – ME and I honestly like myself. I am aware of things I need to change and am in the process of becoming… not drastic changes but then a little change is good – right?

Well it is the weekend finally… past midnight and tomorrow we have to go out in the morning so I should wrap up my ramble — did it ever get anywhere? LOL and get myself off to bed.

I HATE SPIDERS!!

Nov16

It is winter there is NOT supposed to be spiders, especially not cheeky ones that come up beside me when I am sitting on the couch playing on the laptop with the baby ARGH. I HATE SPIDERS. First I had to get myself collected enough to set the baby on the floor and then shed some tears, I grabbed a stack of paper napkins and an oven mit and slammed it against the wall on the spider and then like the wussy I am – dropped it and ran back. Spider smushed on the wall of course so Emanuel and I went and sat in the rocking chair until Ken came back with the twins from Speech class… thankfully he was a sweety about it, only snickering a little at me. He cleaned it up and shook out my stuff. What may be hard to believe is that this is a GOOD responce for me! Usually I would just cry and freak out. I still feel a little edgy sitting on the couch – how sad is that? Hopefully the boys will grow up to be mighty spider slayers LOL.

It is so nice to have a house full of groceries, tonight we are going to attempt to make beef chow mein… We did check into Ken’s application at Superstore – they had put it in the wrong place and the guy hiring had not even seen it yet! I guess now he has to check back to be sure it is ok to re-hire Ken (he had worked for Extra Foods which is another store under the same company) and should call back soon. We also came up with some other ideas of other places he could apply – perhaps a liquor store or tow truck or even changing oil. Just something temporary that can get us back on track. I can honestly say I am feeling much more optimistic. I am sure things will get better now…

We did so some of our shopping. We did not get the twins’ big toy and instead of a walking toy for Emanuel got a block toy. I managed to get a package of 50 of those little individual playdoh packages for $15.00. 10 were $5.00. Enough for more than one special event that is for sure. So we will have to go back later this month but we did get alot done and kept it under $200.00 and that is with us buying Season 3 of Corner Gas for ourselves. I love that show!

So what have I learned so far today? Spiders are SNEAKY… lol naw… nothing much though I did get our package of pictures from Walmart so I will have to start labelling right away.

Snowy Days

Nov14

Just when I thought I had found the easy solution to my wish for a nativity scene this year and I find out that the piece of aida cloth I had been working on for 2 days from a pattern I found in a book my friend Kathy gave me (Thanks so much) is TOO SMALL! So a quick call to my mom to have her look through her supplies (though with her eyesight getting worse she is not doing much anymore). I just do not have the heart to sit down and pull out the stitches right now to have the fabric ready for another project in the future. Hopefully she will find something or I will find something affordable when we do our little bit of Christmas shopping. Thank goodness for a department store credit card is all I can say!

We just got a notice on our local twin group email that one of the ladies had her baby – past her due date but was able to have a VBAC (vaginal after a c-section). They are home tonight safe and sound, but not making it to the twin group meeting tomorrow – I actually think none of us are going to be there tomorrow.

Hmmm otherwise a quiet day. Zander seems to be bettr but my nose is runny and I am feeling under the weather. Emanuel is basically sleeping in the crib *waaah* as much as I like the extra space I miss his little body cuddled next to mine. He has not been sleeping late enough into the morning lately so I am still working on his schedule. He has also started throwing temper tantrums when you take him away from where ever he is crawling or try and cuddle him to sleep when he wants to stay awake. Ken thinks he learned it from Gavin – head thrown back and his little spine arched combined with alot of loud crying. That is until he sees something he likes LOL.

November is about half over tomorrow… where has the time gone? Advent is almost here, Christmas soon after, then New Years and Emanuel’s first birthday (which I am sure I am going to cry at LOL), Valentines Day… We are celebrating the twins’ 3rd birthday at their original projected due date in April (15th I think). You blink and things change it seems.

Fingers crossed and prayers said Ken hears back from Superstore tomorrow (or he will check with them) or maybe an open position at Staples (he is checking that tomorrow too). Speaking of Staples… we get our Walmart photos tomorrow too so Ken needs to check about their labels and whether or not they can make them there. Not only do we need to buy stickers but the printer needs more ink… never rains it pours… but we can always work out options. Maybe a stamp that has our mailing address???