My 5

I want to say a special Happy Mother’s Day to our GodMommies – Darcy, Christine, Xinny, Karyn, Esther, Bree and Ada… Grandparents – Grandma, Nana, and Grandma Reinsch… Great Grandma – Great Grandma Rapp and all the other lovely ladies in our lives who have been such a loving support! OH and my godmother too! Aunty Lorraine… I hope Veronika has given you a special hug just from me!!! 

There are days when I feel especially lucky and the day I won an eCopy of this book by Heather Webber from the wonderful author Tonya Kappes (I am a member of her Street Team Facebook group) was one of those days. This is NOT the first in a series but it is HILARIOUS and I was easily able to jump right in, read it, enjoy it and DEFINITELY want to read all books prior! 

Nina Quinn is a talented landscaper in Freedom, Ohio. A divorcee who has been unofficially renamed the “corpse whisperer” she has seen her fair share of murders and dead bodies (7 books worth in fact!). Two quirky sisters, neighbours that feel like they must have written themselves, they are that giggle worthy, an amazing ex stepson and an ex husband with a badge… Nina has it all… 

I don’t want to give away too much of the plot in this story as it IS #7, but the murder is interesting, the detective work fraught with danger, excitement, and laughs. You fall in love with the characters and just have to see the mystery through. Throw in a mysterious coroner and a baby on the way for good measure. And at the end of the book there are even some landscaping tips! The Root of All Trouble is a must read for a cozy mystery buff like myself!

Heather Webber is also the author of some of my favourite magical books – The Wishcraft Mysteries as Heather Blake! I have yet to get my hands on her newest – The Good, The Bad and the Witchy but Cousin Veronika seemed to enjoy it. The Root of all Trouble, is an excellent addition to the books I have read by this author. I especially love how the romance in the story does not feel forced or have high importance. It is the interaction of Nina with ALL the characters that take center stage! She neither whines about her failed marriage or her single status nor disregards the people around her. Nina is a strong character with an amazing heart and a terrific sense of humour. 

I am already on the look out for the first in this series: A Hoe Lot of Trouble. With spring firmly here I would suggest this book for a rainy afternoon OR a day at the lake in the sun… either way you are going to be thoroughly entertained! Thank you again Tonya Kappes for this amazing gift. Be sure to check out TONYA’s series, especially her Magical Cures Mystery Series! You can find out all about her and her books at her official site HERE.

The Root of All Trouble is a terrific afternoon read be it a rainy day or a sunny afternoon at the lake. If you are a lover of all mysteries cozy and ready for some giggles to book this is the book for you! I would fully recommend not only this book but other series by this author! Check out Heather Webber or Heather Blake and be ready for an awesome read!

The Root of all Trouble

I am always reticent to discuss body image as a (relatively) thin woman. I am blessed by genetics to have spent all my life (since birth) as a thin child, teenager and now woman. It seems like the only ok issues to talk about in regards to weight are when you are attempting to lose. I come from a lengthy history of having doctors and in fact friends and family members (at times) telling me to eat more, to gain weight. When you have to put up your hand and admit that it is a struggle to do so… that you can (ever so luckily) eat and eat and the weight doesn’t stick but if you DON’T eat and eat and those pounds slip off a little there are consequences there really is no sympathy.

I find, personally that when I do lose weight I end up gaining health issues, my anemia returns, I get light headed and dizzy… irregular (can you imagine how happy that makes Ken who seems to slip right from, oh you are late? to OMG PREGNANT???) and ill. It can be a handful of pounds that attain that for me and it can be drastic and instant. But, in the past, the  conversations regarding weight have turned quickly to “poor babies” and tiny violins (if you recognize the saying?) for someone who is visually looking closer to the ideal.

This has made me stop and wonder… where is my beauty in the eyes of others? There are (as I am sure is true for all women) days for me when I look in the mirror and all I see is the results of 4 pregnancies and growing slightly older. Those few stretch marks I try to wear as marks of honour and the changes from high school that appear minor to others are major to me.

Where someone else sees it as that skinny girl being overly worried or silly or demeaning to them I see it as me trying to love myself. There are days when I wish I could see myself as others see me. I want to see that the water weight around my middle is so minor, that gravity is not the cruel mistress it feels to be. I wonder at the compliment ” you look amazing for having had 5 kids”… am I the only one who wonders for a moment if that means that if I had 4 or 3 or 2 or even 1 I look horrible? And then… there are, for the most part, days that I do!

I have learned through buck teeth (seriously being called Bugs Bunny is just…), acne (so many meds), a bad perm (ok has anyone NOT had one of those) and other moments of relative levels of insecurity that there is beauty in me. I was blessed with parents who always told me I was pretty, with friends who were there with the make up brush to teach me how or the kind word about this outfit, those shoes, that haircut.

As I raise my own children, two of which are girls (of course) I look at them and see what I am sure my parents saw in me… beauty inside and out. I wonder at the models in the world for them… Barbie, the stars of today and I think that it is our job as mothers, sisters, aunts and more to show them the reality – the belly dancers with their lithe movements but not stick thin, the beautiful paintings of years gone by of beautiful curved hips and beauty in many sizes, shapes and shades.

I think we all struggle with the question of beauty… what size of chest is right? How flat is your stomach? What do you weigh? Do we care about the thoughts in our heads? The love in our hearts? The beauty of the soul? Well… we do, but what does the world throw up at us every day? It is not that you can make your family smile, that you can help a stranger in a moment of need, that when you go out you hold your head high. So what I find on those days in the mirror is that looking this way and that I see a woman of 33 proud years who has 5 kids, a marriage lasting over 11 years AND a combination of parts that culminate in 100% me…

I know there are others who would say I have it easy, I am well under 200 lbs with generous boobs… my 4 pregnancies and 5 children (ooo math) have resulted in minimal stretch marks and the weight did come off (in one case never came on… talk about a difficult pregnancy being told I needed to eat more when I couldn’t stop eating). But you don’t see me the way I see me. On my worst days I see every pound and inch where I don’t want them, breasts that have never defeated gravity (seriously what IS perky like???) and all the imperfections here and there.

It has taken many years and growing into myself (and my nose I do say) that has brought me to now. The me of now did nude and semi nude maternity photos (in the safety of my own home) and posted them up on deviantArt. That was a huge jump for me, beauty without a bra! For a girl who went from flat to a C-D right away I have worn bras everywhere but bed. I am stepping outside my comfort zone and trying to do fancier make up for fun, trying different hairstyles and looking internally to make sure that what I am saying, thinking and doing is beautiful first. My kids find me gorgeous in my pj’s my husband still says I am sexy in the nude… what more can I ask for? What more SHOULD I ask for?

What I want to challenge everyone to do is to step off that scale and look inside. Don’t stop your work to improve your appearance if you feel the need BUT focus on improving the inside even more. Spend a day in the pjs and realize that that is beauty… look in the mirror and see the journey and miracles you have experienced. And then put on those clothes that make you feel beautiful and realize that YOU ARE!

I have known and still know so many beautiful people in my life and no two are alike in shape, size, anything… it is painful when you hear a friend talk about how dissatisfied they are with themselves and their looks. Not one of us is ever 100% content with ourselves but to live and be happy in our own skin… THAT is my goal! I want Trinity and Echo to wake up each day and know that their beauty starts within, that there will always be someone who loves them and that in the world the opinion that matters the most is THEIR OWN! Would that we all could hold onto that truth… that in the end the world falls away and the one we have to be happy with and love is ourselves.

A secret guilty pleasure of mine is watching RuPaul’s Drag race and then chatting with it with my cousin Veronika… RuPaul has many catch phrases but his final words at each episode resonate with my (and I hope most people) the most… “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else? Can I get an Amen up in here?”… AMEN!

Me Myself and I