Tag Archive | dentist

I Worry…

And I wish I could categorize it as a super power. I have always been somewhat timid, it has just increased drastically since Ken openly acknowledged his severe depression had relapsed. 

I come from a family of people with anxiety… close family members who I won’t name since I did not ask their permission, some even officially diagnosed and medicated for it. I have had conversations about how it is “in the genes”… how we could be know for it, and how we manage to make it work for us. 

My worry solidifies in plans, in back up plans, in back ups to back up plans. I categorize and re categorize everything. This includes my own health. I am always trying to be proactive. Living in the US without Canada’s universal health care has had me in a position of careful self management for periods of time.

And I have succeeded in spades. Working out up to 6 times a week has me active, removing high fructose corn syrup has my stomach aches down to a minimum, I limit my contact use, attempt to get enough rest, walk all summer and spend my time productively. 

But I worry… I worry about the dental visit I will have to finally have after an undisclosed period of time and the fall out from that. I worry that if I drop the ball on any of the above things I will trickle down to a massive physical breakdown (even though I know one less work out a week or that extra can of pop isn’t a final nail in ANY coffin). 

But it goes beyond that… I worry about Ken. I mean… ALWAYS worry about Ken. Is he healthy, is he happy, does he feel in control of his mental health? Have I done enough to assist him in his work to remain healthy? Can I do more?

Of course I also have a healthy dose of “Mommy Guilt”…. that feeling like you will never do enough for your kids. I question my parenting skills, my homeschooling, my ability to provide and discipline and love all at the same time. Will they reflect back on their childhood and see that they were loved and I did my very best for them? 

Don’t get me started on my worries about where I live and the goings on on a grand scale. What a world we live in right know.

So, I worry. And I plan, maybe over plan a little… and I love and I live and I do my very best. 

My master plan is to find a way to make my worry work for me. If it is worthy of worry it is worthy of work. This month I added a 3rd workout class to my schedule (don’t worry I still don’t exceed 6 days a week, I rather changed an elliptical run with R.I.P.P.E.D which I love… I am not THAT crazy after all). I have to wait to face the music at the dentist so I upped my dental care regime to at least keep peace of mind that I am not creating a bigger mess. The kids – well I just do my best and change things up from time to time. December is a month to celebrate according to Zander… so we are! Who says education has to be boring and lack in colouring pages? Not me!!!

And now for the biggest worry of them all (and I admit it, my own worries take a back seat when it comes to Ken’s health, it can just become so all consuming that I am still learning to let him worry about him and me do me.)… KEN… My greatest love, my dearest companion AND my largest worry. 

What can I do? Well, nothing more than I already am, so how to cope? Conversation, crochet, chocolate (cuz what doesn’t get a wee bit better with some quality chocolate?) and awesome company every so often. Yup, online and in person, I am surrounded by some of the most amazing and supportive people who get my crazy. (Or at least pretend they do)

So yes, I am a worrier, I just have yet to let the worry consume me. So if you have a conversation with me that is very wordy and full of circular discussion (like a lot of these blog posts) just realize I am talking through my worry, my neurosis as Ken likes to say. I put my worries out there so they feel less huge, less soul crushing. If someone I trust can tell me it is a tiny worry, well, maybe I can believe it too?

Do you worry? I would love to hear how you cope. Or, if you need me to, listen to your worries so you can feel heard. We worriers need to stick together, if nothing else than so we can enjoy chocolate, crafting and conversation… some of the best “C” words out there! 20171204_170413

January, a Month on Reflection

Well I have to say it didn’t take reflection to realize that THIS January was a much easier month for the adults and disappointing for the kids. Of course, I am talking about the weather, no Arctic chill, but also not much in the way of truly useful (for play) substantial snow! At least getting to “Jesus School” on Sundays was much easier on the family. Frigid rides in the van in the early morning is never a blast.IMAG1127

But I get ahead of myself – We ran in the new year (well partied until the evening) with Renee’s family and friends at her folks’ hobby farm. There was kids to play with, amazing snacks to munch on and entertaining adult company. Absolutely no complaints here! Though we did not make midnight. It may be another year or two before Miss Echo can handle being out and about and HAPPY at midnight.IMAG0999

Jeffrey!

Jeffrey!

IMAG0994Our first weekend AFTER New Years was of course Home Depot… Echo starts up after August if you believe it! If you have NOT checked into this free activity (on both sides of the border no less) please do! Ages for this one are suggested 5-12. Such cute little sleds!

Sleds!

Sleds!

We had visitors in our new year… notably Cousin Robbie who is always willing for a quick game with the kids before settling down to playing adults only.102_0235

Enjoyed our gingerbread houses as decoration well past season…102_0236

Crafted and drew for fun and all…102_0238

102_0251And found the time to learn something about the world through Little Passports!

SPAIN

SPAIN

And a Wild Kratts!

Under the Frozen Pond!

Under the Frozen Pond!

I think 2015 was well begun with creativity on all sides!

by Emanuel

by Emanuel

Cross stitch by Gavin for his God Mommy back home!

Cross stitch by Gavin for his God Mommy back home!

With January also came our revisit of all things China and Chinese New Year. You can see our China resource page for this year’s studies HERE. I am going to have to think this through to really find a way to make a whole new unit for next year!!!102_0258

We had origami…102_0264

And costume time…102_0266

And a book completion for our littlest learner!102_0271And FIVE perfect sets of teeth!IMAG1194

IMAG1079Swimming continues to entertain all!IMAG1139

IMAG1246Definitely a different winter from last year when we had mountains of snow followed by biting cold!!IMAG1182

Yup fast forward through January… onto February… but first… check out the picture over flow HERE for this month with more silly goodness.IMAG0988

Birth DATES Make it Official

February 3-5

First off – HAPPY 8TH BIRTH DATE TO EMANUEL on the 3rd of February! It was doubly official with the yearly Grandma birthday call. Though it was brief since she called on break from work.1622209_10152209465476151_1348467168_n

Of course we still had school. There was a party to reflect on in our journals…

Zander drew his special gift from Aunty Holly that came on time - a Unicorn

Zander drew his special gift from Aunty Holly that came on time – a Unicorn

Chocolate bars to enjoy from their Aunt and Uncle and cousins. There was some lovely examples of sharing going on.101_6090

We had a very timely delivery of a Panda focused National Geographic Kids magazine. I love it when we get something in the mail that furthers our learning spontaneously.

And our drawing of some foods we saw on a Food Network special.

And our drawing of some foods we saw on a Food Network special.

The girls were busy bees with their Nana braids, playing their games together.101_6092

I especially loved Trinity’s combination of many patterns and colours in her outfit.101_6094

She, Echo and myself joined Emanuel at the Novak’s for Scouts. It was my first time going. The girls hung out in the basement with the other 3 Novak boys while Emanuel and Aidan did their thing. They learned all about the new food pyramid. It is a rather good group of boys that all seem to get along relatively well. Ken and the twins were out at swimming lessons so we had to hang out afterwards until we could be picked up. It was nice to have some adult visiting  time and get to know the Scout troop leader Pam a little better.1013308_10152210543416151_448147955_n

Tuesday was our in between birth DATES day. And the three littles took advantage of some of our downtime with getting ready for Nana and Baba leaving and Daddy’s sudden tooth extraction (thank goodness we DID do it while they were still here… he reacted more strongly to the meds they used and could not have driven home) and had a COSTUME dance party! I especially love Baby Batman!1901349_10152211747346151_921252709_n

Miss Trinity followed Art for Kids’ instructions to make a lovely heart card HERE. It turned out TERRIFIC…1506694_10152212102621151_1977556648_n

Then she noticed that one of the left over scraps of paper looked like a bird so we had to put it in her journal! Very creative eye there!101_6097

And then…. HAPPY 10TH BIRTH DATE TO ZANDER AND GAVIN on the 5th! Since when were you two allowed to become double digits??? And this from 10 week preemies who came into this world at 3 lbs. 1 3/4 oz. each!!!101_6063

This was also the last day with time with Nana and Baba so school was super light. The girls worked with some old catalogues and magazines to clip out pictures to glue together for fun.101_6098

101_6100Emanuel and Ken got to work on their very first pinewood derby car! This is exciting – the road to Emanuel’s very first badge!!!101_6099

The twins worked on pictures from the newest instructions from Art for Kids. I honestly will continue bragging on this site for as long as they put up things! I have never found better instructions for the kids. Trinity even gets results without frustration!!!101_6101

As we are now planning for Valentines Day I had the kids make a wreath to replace the one we had up for Christmas out of hands. This was a kit I bought on clearance last year from Walmart!101_6102

101_6104In between helping out Nana and Baba where they could the kids also watched the Wild Kratts episode on Groundhogs.101_6103

And then it was time for hugs, kisses and bye byes. Nana and Baba ALWAYS fly out in the middle of the night/super early in the morning. 9 weeks at Roatan! They are going to come back so tanned and relaxed!!!1743485_10152209910686151_25096662_n