If there is one think life has taught me it is that I really do NOT know my own limits… and surprisingly, this is in a GOOD way! Now don’t get me wrong, using hammers – not my thing, lifting heavy items – nope, reaching things off the top shelf – you must be joking, I have stools and a tall husband for a reason. BUT on the other side of that, did I ever think… all those years back… that this diminutive Canadian woman who weighs 114lbs soaking wet could be all that I am, NOPE, NO WAY! And that is AMAZING!

My newest challenge, on a long list of challenges yet to come, is for my children. One of those things I kind of wish I had gotten to try as a child was to learn the piano. Well, the boys are 12 and Zander is in love with singing and hearing his voice… I remember taking recorder in school around the age most of my kids are now and we have this house to ourselves. Add in an amazing deal on a keyboard and amp from my beloved and gorgeous friend Shandai and the time is nigh. This 37 year old mother of 5 is going to learn how to play the piano! Now I am sure I am not going for concert pianist… but… I have faith in myself, in my friends and family online as mentors and my insatiable need to figure things out. I am going to give this a go!

Two years ago I never thought I could learn how to play with yarn. Cross stitch, yes, but that is a grid and X’s… but the wild world of hooks and yarn… could I do it? Well, it turns out all I needed was a lefty in my life again. Here comes Shandai AGAIN! Such a helpful and supportive friend she is… and BAM I am a yarn addict. May I even slightly suggest the student proceeded to surpass the master??? (she is so much a knitting first girl… ooh knitting… that is on my to learn list to!).

I remember, back in the old days when I was merely a mom of THREE. (I know insane) And there was a fire of some sort in our apartment building. I managed, with the help of my next door neighbour, to bundle up THREE kids, grab my prepacked diaper bag (see organization is key), accept a ride and get to my mother’s house. To top it off I was able to call the landlord to remind him that the downstairs neighbour’s mother was often home and an older lady. This was all with Ken on his way into the city with out cell phone. I didn’t think I could do it. I wasn’t sure I could survive Ken being an hour + away for work each day. That moment, that situation showed me that I hadn’t even STARTED to stretch my wings.

Heck, at the beginning of summer I looked at the schedule at the YMCA and saw an amazing opportunity in ClubY. The kids and I did the math and checked Google Maps, we gasped at the 2 mile walk ONE WAY, we realized we had to find a way to not walk the highway the whole way (what is it with this state and its hatred of sidewalks in the suburbs???) and we pushed Daddy out the door to walk that first walk with us. It was grueling and frustrating (the boys managed to forget their bag of swim gear, Emanuel and Trinity were distracted by every shiny thing they could find) but we did it… and almost 2 months later they are chomping at the bit to walk that walk and get to their events. We hadn’t realized we could make that 30+ min walk into a family event, that we could prove to ourselves and the world that we didn’t NEED the luxury that is a car to get us going each morning and get us into the world. And with that stretching of lazy legs we doubled and tripled our work out each day. We’ve proven to ourselves that those two miles are a journey into adventure and excitement.

I think this unknown strength we have locked up inside is key to our family and its ongoing growth. Homeschool has been one big adventure of trying to stretch ourselves. There have been tears, and laughter, anger and frustration, but most of all there has been realization… we are only as far as we are willing to go, we are only as strong as we are willing to try and we are only as smart as we push ourselves to learn. The limits we see… the too hards, the impossibles, they are all just false limits. They are the points we refuse to look past. Maybe the stepping stones need to be tiny, maybe we need to take extra time (and as everyone knows who knows us, we make time for the foundations always) but we are capable of those events and so much more.

Parenting is scary that way too, only I don’t have the choice. We are now facing puberty and the teenage years. I have already had to cope with the hormones running wild with the twins (not cool, Zander goes angry and Gavin whiny/weepy). The future looks straight on uphill with the teenage years looming. But then again… so very long ago, that is how potty training TWO babies at once felt. And we managed. It may not have been graceful and I think we ALL learned things at time but we managed. I don’t know how far I can go, how many limits I will come across, and I won’t know until I get there or until I try. Who knows, we may be even more successful at it than we think we will.

So what am I truly capable of? I guess the answer is… I don’t know. But you know what? I sure can’t wait to find out! The day I started crocheting the projects I pick up now looked impossible. There are some on my to do list that are daunting even now, but I know I have yet to reach my limit.

The future is full of challenges and unknowns, and we have choices. We can sit back and fear them, we can halfheartedly try to defeat them, we can simply accept defeat and move on to something else. I think I am going to make it my mission in life to try and head out there and meet at least SOME of these challenges face on! I am going to sit down at the keyboard and give it a go, do more than give it a go I am going to PRACTICE and QUESTION and LEARN. I am going to dust off the old record skills and I am going to make MUSIC. I am going to pick up those knitting needles in the fall and figure out this fancy knit and pearl thing (and probably suck up HUGELY to Shandai on that one). I am even, one day, going to face my fear of driving head on (don’t get excited I did say ONE DAY not tomorrow). I am going to walk into the gym and face those fancy machines and (with Ken’s guidance) learn something new next month. I am going to make sure that I show my children that my limits are always changing, that my skills are always growing and that if they can make and effort and try something new, well Mom is right there with them!

Now I am sure I can tie this all back in on my depression series. I know Ken has worked hard to stretch his own limits. But you know what? I think we all need to drop our limits and stretch out wings, regardless of our situation, of our fears and of our illnesses. So maybe… just maybe… you can draw your own parallels and see what I mean without my leading you through it? And when you chose to make some leaps, think of me and my family. We are leaping with you! And if you really want a buddy on something – hey you never know, I have tried sushi, gone all the way to the top of a glass elevator, done a maid of honour speech in front of nearly all strangers, met new people way out of my comfort zone and even faced down the bad behaviour of my own kids with strength and honesty and in public no less! Perhaps not the most amazing accomplishments to everyone else… but to me! Well here I am stretching my wings, bursting through my limits and making life even more amazing!

(thanks to my “baby” cousin David on the awesome conversation which inspired this post, and piano assist… love you and thanks for the virtual pep talk! Good luck with the PhD – you got this!)

And I am not even trying to be! I was confronted, once again, with my parenting imperfections recently. Well… not so much imperfections and more the reality of raising strong personalities with a will of their own and the freedom of choice to make their own mistakes and blunders in life (in this case act according to their own whim and not the guidelines I have tried to drill into them).

I think it is something we moms (and dads) often keep mum about. In today’s society there is such a massive push for perfection. When something happens to another family and we hear about it, see it on the news, etc, the first impulse seems to be more and more to judge them and see how that would NEVER happen to US. After all, our parenting plan is perfect, our control over our kids faultless and our children always toe the line in publi… well how funny is that, I can’t even TYPE that statement out without almost falling over laughing.

I am the proud (most of the time… well A LOT of the time) mother of 5 currently ages 12 through 5. I homeschool them myself, put them into activities, send them to Sunday School, schedule playdates, generally let them out in public under varying levels of supervision. I think I am a good parent (well I really hope I am), a hands on parent, a loving parent, and a parent who believes in strict and fair discipline (but immediate and dependable. If I say the consequence is this, you ask my kids – IT HAPPENS).

I do the “in the car before an event” lecture, I listen to their chatter in groups to catch things before escalation and I do my best not to hover but to instill values and the ability to make positive choices… And, they do what they do when they do it.

I am the mom of 5 independent individuals with free will. I am the mom of children who are not yet mature, who are still learning to realize the consequences of their actions, who are able to make more messes in a single hour than I can clean in a full day. And that is ok! Definitely NOT perfect, but it is ok!

I am that mom yelling out her kid’s name when he is misbehaving or she is walking too fast at the pool. I am that mom who has turned around and taken her kids home from the park because she just can’t take that yelling fight between kid 1 and 3 for one more second. I am the mom who will call over her kids and give them that lecture in the middle of an outing because there is no way an hour later in the privacy of our van they will really grasp how bad that behaviour was in the moment.

We are all that parent who has to deal with the reality that our children are not born into a world that demands they are seen and not heard (and really did that ever TRULY work as well as it did in books?). We are all struggling with the balance of love and discipline. The fight to control but give responsibilities and freedoms.

I admit to feeling a huge moment of embarrassment and self recrimination when I was faced with behaviour I would now have to correct. There was that snap of frustration that they couldn’t just behave perfectly in public. But the reality is, they are kids, they are young and they are going to make mistakes. Just as I am an adult and… not so young… and am going to make mistakes. We all are, perfection is a myth, an untouchable goal that keeps us striving to better ourselves and it has its place. That place is NOT in parenting.

The reality of it is all is that as long as our children have minds of their own they will chose to use them, or not, however they want. All we can do is set out guidelines, suggestions and consequences and model the best behaviour we can for them. So while I will strive for perfection in my sewing, in my housework (haha good joke that one) with my children I am working towards a better goal – a foundation of love and support with guidance and consequences and, as always, a soft place to land where they can get back up and realize there are better choices to be made and a future of ups and downs we will face together.

I don’t know about you but that sounds a lot more exciting than perfect!!

(Thanks homeschool mom bud who suggested this topic inadvertently… we totally have better things to do than be perfect… and I am thankful we get to do so many of them together!)

I know that most homeschooling parents and parents in general tend to make life harder than it has to be. I swear it comes with the job description… you love, you worry, you work your buns off and you do your best for those babies. This is why I think we could all take something away from the article 10 Ways You’re Making Your Homeschool Day Harder Than it Has to Be thanks to Simple Homeschool HERE.

I don’t know if I could pick just one or two points as the absolute must reads… each and every point resonates with me. I can admit to needing to remember #6 – Forgetting yourself, your passions and your own education. I have more recently taken this to heart by requiring myself have time to craft. Have moments of reading without worrying that a kid needs me. I actually do some of my best crochet work during the math lessons. They work hard one their books while I sit and work hard on my project. I count, they count and they see that it is good to create during school time. (and there is the added benefit of my hands being busy when I tend to be the most frustrated).

#8 – Refusing to step outside the grade box has been a point we have had to make with many people. They ask what grade the boys are in… and while we do state one as they age we educate as if we do not. They have so much potential to pass their grade point in some things… so much interest in stuff that does not fall into the spectrum. One of the reasons we chose to homeschool was to experience these avenues and twists and turns. A grade is not the measuring point for our school… progression is the benchmark.

#9 – Comparing, comparing, comparing is a VERY difficult one… after all what is life but what FEELS like a big comparison. It is the letting of that go that is something I am working VERY hard at… after all what that mom with the official homeschooling blog does is by no way what we need here in our home. We make do and more with what we have and where we are!

I think I could go on and say something about each and every point on this list. I really suggest that any parent read this list and see how it could reflect in your life… schooling… I mean even a parent who did NOT homeschool could apply #6, #9…

So thank you Simple Homeschool for an amazing, thought provoking article that I am going to read and re read. THANK YOU!