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I Deserve…

Yoga has become a nightly routine for me now for well over 40 days and it is gradually changing my life. I have been going through the videos from the Yoga With Adriene channel on YouTube and am on my second 30 day series with her.

Currently I am almost midway through Yoga Camp. Each day’s video has a focus, the latest being “I Deserve”. Such a simple sentence to complete but for a moment it stopped me short. What DO I really think I deserve?

The idea of deserving something or being worthy is something I sometimes struggle with. How do I quantify what I deserve? Am I actually deserving of what I already have? How can I be deserving enough?

The reality of the life is that I think we deserve so much more than we realize… love, compassion, understanding, friendship, acknowledgement, acceptance… we all are so deserving of these things and yet often times don’t realize it or even deny it. 

Of course there are the material things that we feel we deserve and work toward… a nice house, fancy vehicle, a room full of yarn (or is that just me?). These items require action to be “earned” and often hard work or a financial investment. 

But when it comes to the statement in session today… I deserve… I felt like the list was much more the former category than that latter materials based one. 

What do I deserve that I need to acknowledge in those quiet yoga filled moments? It isn’t a ball of yarn or a new dress or a book I want to buy… rather I need to realize how truly deserving I am…

So here I go to publicly state what “I Deserve”…

I deserve …

  • Joy, I deserve to feel that full on belly tickling joy in my day and promise to embrace the opportunities to do so.
  • Peace, I deserve to come to the end of my day with the realization that I lived it with the intention of peace.
  • Love/Friendship… every hug, every moment with a beloved friend be it just a hello, I am totally and utterly deserving of that. 
  • Quiet, I deserve my quiet stolen moments. They are not lazy or negligent but an act of self love as I take some time to not be anything or anyone but me. Beyond mother, wife, teacher, friend etc.
  • Support, I deserve support. Not as a monetary or physical manifestation, but the knowledge that my dreams and aspirations are supported by others. Even if they may not understand my particular brand of crazy. 
  • Recognition, I deserve to be recognized… even if it is just by myself. Who I am is worthy of recognition. And that can mean just my own realization that I am worthy, that I am a good person and that I truly do try my best in my life. Self recognition can be so powerful. External validation is often a great thing but if I can stand tall and proud and realize that I am working to be the best ME I can be… there is power in that. 

So what does this all mean? Well, to me it means that I have work to do. As I wrote this post I felt those inklings of self doubt. Do I truly deserve friendship or love at all times? Do I deserve to be joyful when I feel I am lacking in something? Does that time I take for myself in silence mean I am neglecting something else more worthy of my time? 

It means I have work to do. I need to make time to embrace the stillness and look inside myself to simply realize we are all deserving of so much more than we accept. 

It means when I receive one of these blessings I need to acknowledge and embrace them, it is like receiving a compliment… am I the only one who has a VERY hard time simply saying thank you? 

I am an example for my family and I deserve the realization that I am a pretty good one. And every day as I work on myself and my family I simply become MORE deserving. We all do. 

So my goal for April 2018 onward is to not become more deserving but to become more aware that I AM deserving. We are all deserving of so much in life that we don’t acknowledge, ignore or even reject (consciously or unconsciously). Time to stop the cycle and accept the facts… 

How would you finish the statement -I deserve-?

Right now, right this minute, you deserve my thanks for reading my ramble. Thank you! Bless!IMG_20180329_091032_603