is that if you are in a state of constant balance and rational thought process one has to wonder if you are truly living outside your self made limitations. I know I have talked previously about expanding past what you are sure you can do and into new terrain (right now I am deep in my recorder lessons with the intent of moving to the piano eventually!) –HERE-. There is a level of discomfort when we step outside and try something unknown.
The reality of life is that safe is truly NOT safe. We are created for change, for challenge and for growth. To sit where we are safe and rational and completely in the know is to ignore these realities.
In fact, sometimes those feelings of safety and careful comfort are masking a greater problem. I am not suggesting you run out, quit your job of X number of years, join the foreign legion and start a new, that is just… well… insane? But, to sit there in the comfort of constant familiarity and ease for ALL facets of your life is neither stimulating nor healthy.
A challenge can simply be reading a book that expands your knowledge base or makes you think. Extending out of comfort could be trying for that promotion you are not quite sure you will get. It can be adding something new to your routine, trying to meet new people, attempting a new skill. It is bumping you out of your absolute norm and finding something to stretch you out a little.
The reality of life is that we are not rational and calm and balanced, we are full of doubts and fears, joys and celebrations, anguish and tears. We are silly and stubborn, cuddly and prickly, we are opposites rolled into one being. This is somewhat of a balance, you can’t just be silly… cuddly and joyful… that would make you a kitten. But at the same time a lack of balance creates opportunity.
Ken explained to me that with Depression there is a huge amount of uncertainty and discomfort. Things are not balanced, they are way out of whack. BUT there is a drive to distract. This is where you convince yourself that the reality of life is calm, collected, rational. This all leads to further UNHEALTHY lack of balance. So we have to balance our lack of balance… be rational in the midst of irrational thought… embrace it all and make sense of the combination.
Definitely easier said than done. I know that I have my moments (and I am considered the balanced and “healthy” one). Tears over the dumbest, most random things… and I don’t mean pregnancy hormones cuz – NOT POSSIBLE THANK YOU. Unsettled thoughts of worry and angst go hand in hand with a yearning for a balanced and easy/rational/simple life. Remove the idea of scripted/created drama and I have to admit – I am yearning for a farce. I don’t truly want easy balance in all facets of my life – I want to stretch and grow. I want to learn new skills, teach my children new things, do one outrageous thing every so often (ok outrageous to ME maybe not the cooler masses). I want a basic structure of security and balance but, well, too much comfort makes you complacent.
Complacency in and of itself can lead to even more problems. When we get into a rut, into a cycle we often don’t see the total picture. We don’t come across opportunities with the same mindset, and that is a shame.
So basically, life is flux and yet not. Change and stability fight for dominance as we try to figure out what we CAN change and what MUST stay the same. We will always be figuring out how to live in the reality of life with depression. There will never be a “cheat sheet” full of easy solutions. And that is ok.
The reality of living is that we don’t know what is going to happen, we can’t control all the variables and we really don’t have all the answers. BUT we can get the tools, build a support system and accept the challenge.