I know I am. Something that has become more and more apparent to me after Ken got sick back in 2009 and as the children have grown. Now while I am mentally aware of this increasingly obvious character trait and how it can be detrimental, emotionally I simply cannot avoid it.

This has worked in my favour, I am a pro at being sure Ken is still on the road to better health now, I have caught little issues with the kids before they become huge, and I am able to manage the busy life of a house with 7 people in it. But… and this is a BIG but… I can be utterly useless at times as well.

When it comes to money worries I… well… worry. Which is less than helpful as I am not the one making the money in this family. A worry will catch me unawares and niggle on into my brain and stay. I find that my first response is the same as my response to good-byes, amazing news and sad movies… to cry. That over and done with I drive Ken MAD with questions and plans and hopes and the little bitty worries connected to the original worries. Following me? And yes this is where we feel bad for Ken. Cuz while I mean well he goes nuts!

This also occurs with issues with the kids; Echo’s weight, Emanuel’s heart murmur before we sorted it out, the twins’ speech or the original lack thereof until they were pushing 3. And while I come up with great plans it tends to weigh heavy.

So I have come up with a personal goal. I want to work on having my cry, making my plan and then trusting on the solution and the work we will pit behind it!! After all, Echo is now gaining weight, Emanuel is far from dying, the twins won’t STOP talking and Ken is working super hard to pay of debts AND balance that with remaining healthy. Sometimes I need to have faith in more than just my religion and relationship with the amazing man I call husband. Worry has it’s place, I just want to enjoy life while I worry like any loving mother does. Now do you think that balance is possible? I would love to hear other’s experiences and opinions on this!! If nothing else so I don’t feel so alone.

Beyond the worries I think we are doing rather well. I am still keeping any shopping to a minimum. No buy date on my Cricut yet. We are finding numerous free activities or activities that utilize the Leisure Pass we have until end of April fir the kids. I have come up with more design ideas for sewing and made gifts for friends and family I am proud to give. Who knows, maybe this time next year we will be amazing in all facets of our lives! Now there is a goal… To do like Dr. Who told Rose (wow how geeky of me) – have a fabulous life. How can you go wrong doing that?

It looks like we have one more bitingly cold day before we see some more kid friendly weather. Our new old van really does NOT like warming up in the winter so we bundled up for our trip to Grandma’s. That is the main reason we stayed the night. Ken did not want to drive home with the kids on one of the coldest nights of the year. It gave the kids more time with their Grandpa Mike anyway.

Playing Legos (Gavin red)

Ken and I got out without the kids to do some pre gift searching for the boys. I want to spend as little as possible as usual but still get them what I want to get them. It is almost a game, can I do it so far UNDER budget that I have money to contribute back to out debts. So far their beds were nicely under the 200.00 each I had set for myself (we have waited beyond when we should have really to get them their own beds due to all the arguing at bedtime).

Gavin and Zander and Echo

This has put me back a bit on the Chinese New Year book the boys were making. I had planned on spending today putting together what we already had done. Ken finished our firecrackers Sunday night (or was it first thing Monday morning?) and I hung up the numbers 0-9 on our Chinese New Year/Valentines wall. Nothing fancy this year, I am hoping from now on we can build our decorations stash.

Firecrackers

In the batch of items my mom sent home with us we lucked out with a Grade 1 Reading workbook based on Mr. Dressup (if you are unaware of him you are most likely NOT Canadian! Anyone else remember The Friendly Giant or The Polka Dot Door?). With Zander needing to take some time once he has his glasses (something we are hopefully ordering tomorrow) and has to catch up with his Math comprehension still I think I may hand this book over to Gavin. Or at the very least photocopy and share. Most of the English workbooks we have straddle 2 or 3 years which makes it hard on Gavin who wants to just keep going and gets VERY frustrated when the book goes to a point he simply can’t yet understand.

New workbook

We have a new toy to try out as well. Mom came across this at work – a Projecta Scope. If it works as it says it should I am sure we can find a multitude of uses. I know the boys would find it fun to trace out something bigger on their own!

New toy

I had the kids start their wood/marker craft I bought at Michaels. There are 4 ornaments for them to colour and then glitter glue. I limited them to two each (out today so as to have something more to do later. I do believe Gavin wants to give one to his Godmommy (my friend Christine). He is VERY interested in his Godparents and asks about them and makes them things quite faithfully (that reminds me I have to put together a belated Christmas envelope (etc) for him shortly. I think he recognizes how special it is to have two people who are HIS and not have to share them in the same capacity as he does all the other people in his lives.

Finished pieces

We start our frog unit tomorrow. I have a whole selection of links to share and plan on doing that tomorrow. We are doing a single lapbook as a family to cut down on printing and to work on working TOGETHER on things.

So tonight I tidy, work on cleaning up my laptop and hopefully take a break from worrying! Again any suggestions or stories from your own experiences would be TERRIFIC sweet readers!! Hugs to you all.

Got Your Nose

In the usual Reinsch-Johnson style Christmas has come and is ongoing. Not only did we have a party last weekend, Christmas Eve at mom’s and Christmas Day as our not so little family… but today we had Aunty Christine and her puppy Bella over and TOMORROW it is Aunty Kathy… then there is Aunty Karyn coming on her way BACK from Saskatchewan, an envelope on its way from Grandpa Reinsch and a little bit of post Christmas shopping money to be spent! Whew! The kids are over the top wired for sound at this point!

So to catch up the masses… Christmas Eve was a blast! Not only did we get a van (mobility at last!) but in the morning Grandma made waffles while I had “help” making sugar cookies (we had to do the letters for Grandma, Grandpa and Great Uncle Wayne as well as 2 for Santa). Grandma had Zander and Gavin cutting strawberries and Emanuel set the table! Sharp knives and no injuries – it really IS Christmas!

Breakfast prep (Zander blue)

I had mainly Gavin as my cookie helper but Trinity did a bit and Zander a momentary interest shown.

Gavin rolling out dough

Uncle Wayne came nice and early in the day bearing presents. The early open was an exciting one – he had hunted down a Spirograph!!! Talk about old school. Gavin was down in the basement for over an hour working diligently with Uncle Wayne on some amazing creations. I remember having one as a child and using coloured pens that I found at different stores to make images. I am certain the boys (well especially my artistic Gavin) will get hours upon hours of fun out of this thing!

Gavin working with Great Uncle Wayne on the spirograph

So Mike spoiled mom once again this year… not only did he get her Phoebe (back in November but a Christmas gift all the same) who is an absolute doll and actually was willing to come to me… as long as the boys were not RIGHT THERE  and LOUD…

Meeting Phoebe

but he traded in her old convertible for a MUSTANG convertible!!! Silver 2008… and mom is over the moon. I don’t have a picture of it yet, but trust me I will! We are all wondering how he will top this year! 2 years ago he asked her to marry him on Christmas Eve and then last year it was the scooter… what next? Doubly impressive as while he was purchasing this fine vehicle he was also negotiating the purchase of our lovely new van AND working. Talk about a man who can multi task!

Ken and Mike spent quite some time cleaning out the new old van. The previous owner had smoked in it so there was a distinct odour to remove, but it is in TERRIFIC condition for a 1996. And like ever Nissan we have ever owned – it has a sun roof. And in true 90’s style – a 6 disc cd changer. So no stow and go and no dvd player but the only BIG issue – only one sliding door… with a lack of space inside it is a bit tricky. We have to tip up the carseat base for Echo and let in everyone first, buckle Trinity, flip the base down and THEN put in Echo but we can do it. I think it will be that feature that will most likely spur on further searching in better financial times.

Uncle Wayne, Grandma and the 7 of us made it to the Christmas Eve carol service… well HALF of it. The Children’s time consisted of all the kids getting a teddy (except Echo I figured she could live without). Apparently the local hockey team had a teddy bear drive that was VERY successful so they had surplus to send out to the churches to give to the children there. The kids were so pleased! But soon after that point we just had 4 very wound up kids wanting supper and presents and out of their finery. It was so full that we had to sit way in the back almost out of the sanctuary anyway so we packed everyone up at that point and headed back to mom’s rather than disrupt the service for the other people forced to sit so far in the back already. After all the service was at 4:30!! So early!

Ready for Church (Zander in white)

Hello Kitty dress

With the teddies they got at church (Gavin middle)

Supper was a traditional turkey dinner with homemade cranberry sauce (Zander REALLY liked) and even sweet potatoes. Yum! And then… PRESENTS! Talk about organized chaos. Trinity chose Uncle Wayne to be her designated helper and had to be reminded to open ALL her presents. Every time she came across something she REALLY liked – like a dolly, she wanted it out of the box and would start to play.

Opening presents

The boys were just opening fiends. Lots of neat presents. Each of them got a game from Uncle Wayne, Gavin got golf clubs, Emanuel Lightning McQueen blocks and Zander an old school box of Construx.

Chaos! (Gavin white)

They each got a wooden car you put together with screws. Gavin sat down and in one sitting and minimal help made his!

Working on Gavin's car

Ken and I got a brand new cookie sheet from mom (hint hint about the old ones) and Mike and a blanket from the centennial celebration for the University we both graduated from.

Awesome blanket!

I personally got another beautiful shawl from mom and Mike AND some books. There were a multitude of bits for the kids to open and go through and then a nice long play time AFTER the excitement before heading home.

Reading the pillow book

Of course desert too – mom defrosted the chocolate zucchini cake we made in the fall and iced it with chocolate cream cheese icing. The kids had had floats earlier in the day when Chris and Chris had stopped by with gingerbread and shortbread cookies for all of us.

Chris and Chris stopping by

Home by 11 ish with cookies for Santa and chocolate milk (see the 24th blog entry for picture) and a big first for Trinity – first time in her BIG GIRL BED! She was a little intimidated but managed it without falling out.

Big girl in the big girl bed

Christmas day started later than expected as we all got a nice lay in with our late night. So started things around 9am or so. First the singing (see previous entry), a song they were all PROUD to learn and sing. Then pictures (we had to bribe Trinity as she was a little off that morning – note the Pepsi filled – only 1/3 of the way – sippy cup as bribery).

Bribed into cuteness on the left (Gavin red)

Of course photos with the stockings too… Echo’s is slightly more narrow than the others but it suits our pixie baby (Grandma now has TWO names for our darling – The Little Tyrant when she is mad and The Little Pixie when she is smiling).

Echo amongst the stockings

Presents were another case of organized chaos… Trinity is just not understanding that there is more than ONE thing for her and was in constant need of reminding to KEEP OPENING. And of course she had a couple extra to open as I was able to get a few things at H&M cheaper than I thought… like her new butterfly style faerie wings!!!

Trinity and baby

Wings!!

The boys were so excited to get games and toys and pencils.

Emanuel

Zander and Gavin

Emanuel was over the moon with his very own easel that is already in the centre of room where he can work on either side of it.

Dry erase!

Dinner was super late… the kids didn’t mind and Ted managed to make it over in time to share it with us! Which meant Ken went to get him so – SLURPEE!

Christmas dinner!

We ended our evening with Dr. Who (the 11th Doctor) and chocolate ice cream with butterscotch topping. Late but marvellous night. We also decided to move Echo up to 2 rice cereal servings a day – lunch and before bed, she seems to sleep a little better.

Boxing Day (today) was rather quiet with Aunty Christine and her puppy Bella paying us a call with presents in hand. We hadn’t seen Christine in a while so it was great to sit and catch up… chaos and all. Even Echo got some puppy kisses… and DIDN’T cry!!!

Kisses for Echo

After Christine headed home all 5 kids had naps. Echo has been VERY clingy (more so than even normal!) the past few days with all the excitement and travel time so we are hoping that after this busy time we can work on getting her to nap on her own. She is almost 5 months old now!

Gavin and his god-mommy

The last activity tonight was some Ken/Zander one on one time (he had played with the other two boys one on one in the morning when Echo, Trinity and I were still asleep). They built a spaceship! Very cool.

Spaceship

Now I have a livingroom to clean, laundry to fold… Ken has a kitchen to get into and we still have more company coming tomorrow. We have Echo and Emanuel’s shots on the 30th and then life SHOULD be going back to our version of normal…with a VEHICLE! Bonus! Though as part of the agreement of sale Ken has to take it back to the mechanic who originally inspected it (being as it is over 10 yrs old) to have some minor repairs done. We do seem to excel at keeping busy!

Asleep on the floor at Grandma's!

So the past 3 days… BUSY BUSY BUSY and MOSTLY in a good way! So I gave up on completing a few things – blogging, homeschool prep work beyond VERY rudimentary, organizing the house full of chaos and any sort of intense stitching or designing. It was all for the greater good of course!

So, that covers the WHY I didn’t post, now to post the fun that ensued! Hmm where to start? How about FRIDAY… first off… Friday marked the day we dropped all 3 of our sons off with their loving Grandma! Talk about a sweet mother. Admittedly we sort of dropped them and ran BUT not before Ken had a 30 min power nap and helped her with her garage sale stuff (apparently it was all living in the basement and needed to make its way to the garage).

This gave Trinity a chance to play in the backyard and get thoroughly muddy! Apparently Grandma had set them to work filling the holes Harley had dug and she interpreted that as an indication she should SIT in the dirt and go nuts. Oh well, it all comes out in the wash!

In the sandbox (Zander)

Harley!

After dropping the boys off we stopped in to say hi to Aunty Christine (luckily she WAS at work and had the weekend off… she is currently back and forth from her dad’s place who had heart surgery recently so VERY hard to get a hold of). Then, to help Trinity get over her disappointment for having to leave Grandma and Mike BEFORE dinner we stopped at KFC/Taco Bell. Why had no one told me about the 2.99 snack boxes? popcorn chicken, fries and a little gravy for that price! (Granted the gravy is now in my freezer for a later use and it is far from a regular meal item for our little girl but WOW) She basically licked the box clean, and since it was basically her ONLY non healthy food for the weekend it was well worth it!

Nom Nom Nom

Our Friday evening was nice and quiet, no boys asking questions to get out of bed, talking too loudly for someone to sleep OR potty breaks! This is a first for us pretty much in FOREVER.

Saturday started slowly with Ken sleeping through whirlwind Trinity in the livingroom – apparently it is the BOYS that wake him up when he naps when they are up early. So she took full advantage and played with everything from flash cards (gently at least) to play doh (just the toys not the dough). So I woke up to a bit of cleaning but nothing extreme. Lunch was another special request for the birthday girl, due to my impending retake (please keep a positive thought for me!!) I chose to forego the Italian place in favour of a place I KNEW I could get a super healthy meal at – Extreme Pita! Trinity got her own bag of pita chips and shared an apple juice with Daddy… we tried offering bites of our pitas but all she was interested in was the pita itself! Silly girl!

Mmm Apple Juice

We then took a walk through Toys R Us, not the best choice as we couldn’t buy everything Trinity wanted but we checked out the baby aisle and found for 20.00 a stroller for dolly whose wheels TURN! So when our baby comes maybe Miss T will get a stroller that is a wee bit more manageable to steer!

Supper was great fun! Mongoli Grill as requested, with Karyn, Ted, Ken and Trinity. I was smart with my rice and instead filled up on meats (not fatty) and veggies like water chestnuts (mmmm), broccoli, even peanuts… and a minimum of sauce. I had NO left overs and Trinity made up for my lack of rice eating (cruel cruel world as I LOVE their rice) by eating at least 3-4 cups of the stuff herself!

Attempting Chopsticks

Ken giving chopsticks a go!

Ted and Karyn

US!

After supper was a leisurely walk (well except for Ted who opted to get something done on the computer) followed by visiting late into the evening. So definitely the day I wanted (well except for the lack of rice!!).

Walking off dinner

I even got my Christmas present (from last year) – a new DS game – Mario and Luigi – Bowser’s Inside Story. So now on my birth DATE I get my birthDAY gift and for the first time in YEARS have the present on the day! Wow!

New Game!

Sunday was another slow start with lots of rest (even Trinity slept in with that belly full of rice!) and then our fun as half a family came to an end with a trip back to pick up our boys. We skipped out on the splash park as the day was hot AND when we got there they were running wild in the backyard with water guns and the sprinkler. In fact, we got them home around 5:30 and all 3 went right to bed! It was that good of a weekend!!!

We managed to have a friend sit in the livingroom and sneak in a walk too!

In the midst of all this I finished my wedding gift for Saturday (just needs cleaning and framing) and mocked out the baby sampler for July. We tried on Trinity’s flowergirl dress to find it will fit PERFECTLY, even though she took GREAT offence to putting it on and will probably have to get a little bit of bribery in the day of to get her calmed down (not a huge surprise, it is like two steps dressier than any of her other dresses but SOOOO cute!). I got in some time to take maternity photos (posted here and on deviant) AND some lovely quality one on one time with Ken (much needed).

In the backyard on Saturday

Front yard Sunday

31+ weeks!

TODAY the boys woke up a bit on the wrong side of the bed, Emanuel and Ken had to rush off to a doctor’s appointment – his yearly – where he came out with flying colours. The only concern is that we work with him on is his speech, slow him down and make him repeat words he says wrong but that is common with MOST kids. The heart murmur is still there, but still nothing more than existing, his potty training is beyond on track and he is growing like a weed! I LOVE this paediatrician, she is a specialist (due to the twins’ preemie status) but she also supports our homeschooling! Definitely a gem!

The other 3 kids spent time talking about gardening, we read about flower and food gardens and drew our own as well as checked out the peas in the pots and drew how they look right now. Our little garden is doing rather well…

Hard at work (Gavin front)

I tried some pictures in the backyard – since it is so overgrown in the back corner already, the plan is to take some pictures back there and THEN cut it all down before the raspberries start really producing. Sadly the time I chose to go out we couldn’t get a good spot where the sun was not in their eyes. BUT it was a nice trial.

Pony tail

Of course this got us busy in the backyard which lead to hunting down the air pump and refilling our pool, then spraying it and moving it, and finally water. So after quiet time everyone headed BACK outside to play in the pool (well except Emanuel who wanted to play in the yard). I LOVE our backyard.

YAY pool (Zander)

After dinner we took a nice walk as a family. And that marked the end of Lisa eating until AFTER the retest (again positive thoughts please everyone!).

Adventures in Wagon

Working on balance (Gavin yellow)

Did I mention the wonderful gift I got from my mom for my birthday? A blue Pashmena!!! I LOVEEEEE blue and this one is gorgeous!

Blue!

And from Karyn an absolutely gorgeous necklace! Apparently the little store she got it at does their own designing and such so all the metal work around the stone is done there!

So pretty!

So now I am no longer eating until AFTER my glucose retest… so what I would love is if everyone could just wish me the best possible results for baby AND me… I just want to be sure I don’t have a false positive from an overly sugar heavy diet! And then at 3pm is my ultra sound to see where the placenta is at… I have to admit I don’t really have any fear or worry in regards to that appointment – there is nothing I can do about the placenta, so instead it is more exciting to see the baby again and get a better idea of where that placenta really is! A busy day for us to be sure!!